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How X-Men Days of Future Past Should Have Ended

How X-Men Days of Future Past Should Have Ended

Hishe-dofp

Plot

Characters

Transcript

Cue Quicksilver scene.

Magneto: (after the Quicksilver bit) Whoa.

Cut to later at a runway

Quicksilver: Hey, I saw your flight plan. Why are you guys going to Paris?

Charles: Oh, we're going to invade another highly secured facility and retrieve one of our friends kind of like what we just did with Erik... You know what, why don't you come with us? Do you want to Paris?

Quicksilver: Me?

Charles: Yeah, man, you really should come with us. We totally need a guy like you on our team.

Quicksilver: I don't know, man. My mom would probably kill me.

Magneto: Well, I'm your father so tell her I said it's okay.

Quicksilver: WHAAAAAAAAT?! You're my dad?!

Magneto: Yes.

Quicksilver: Can we talk about this?

Magneto: No, we will never speak of it again. Get on the plane.

We see Mystique taking down all of the guards. Stryker tries to tase her but the thingy falls to the ground before it hits her. She then tries to shoot Trask but all of her bullets hit the wall.

Mystique: Why isn't this working?!

Quicksilver: Hi, I'm holding your neck so you don't get whiplash.

Mystique: What?

Quicksilver: Whiiiiiip laaaaaaash. (leaves with her and comes back with Charles)

Charles: Hello, we are mutants and we just saved your life. Do try to remember that in the future. Good day.

They leave. Cut to The 70's Super Cafe.

Charles: So we basically used time travel and Quicksilver, and that pretty much fixed everything.

Superman: Wow.

Batman: Well, if by fixed, you mean erased all of your previous adventures.

Charles: "Erased"? Logan, what is he talking about?

Wolverine: Timey-Wimey... I don't know. I don't remember anything. Who are you people?

Quicksilver: I just looked under that guy's mask. He's Bruce Wayne.

Batman: What the-? No, I'm Batman! Get out of here, kid!

Quicksilver: Fine. This place is dead anyway. (leaves and sticks a Bruce Wayne label on Batman's face)

Batman: (knocking it off) Secret identity.

Superman: Well, I love it. You move really fast, reverse time, save everyone. That sounds groovy. I'm gonna have to try that someday.

Batman: Yeah, except for it to work, Kitty has to stand and hold that pose for, like, days.

Cut to the future.

Kitty: (while using her time travel powers on Wolverine) I HAVE TO PEE SOOOOO BAD!

Cut back to The 70's.

Charles: I didn't even think about that. Poor girl.

Batman: Anyway, hooray for you guys. But do you know what I would have done if I had time travel?

Superman: Save Kennedy? Seems like having a mutant president would've solved a lot of your problems.

Batman: Probably. What I would have done is I would have sent Logan back to The 60's, to the first time he met Charles and Erik, then have him tell them everything right then and there.

Charles: *GAAAAAAAASP!* That's a great idea! Logan, do not let me forget to send you back again in fifty years from now!

50 years later then back to The 60's...

Erik and Charles approach Logan at the bar.

Erik: Excuse me, I'm Erik Lensherr.

Charles: Charles Xavier.

Logan: Go fu-HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH! (Future Logan takes it from here) Erik's going to kill Shaw and get Charles paralysed! (put his arms around Erik and Charles) Guys, sit down. I'm from the future. I have so many things I need to warn you about.

Years later...

Cut to The Super Cafe.

Professor X: (walking by) Hey, fellas. Just outside enjoying my legs.

The End.

Cue Mystique meeting that general guy.

Mystique: What's the matter, baby? You don't think I look pretty like this?

General: No, actually you still look pretty hot like that.

Mystique: (kicking him in the face) DON'T LOOK AT ME!

General: (in pain) It's worth it.