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How Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them Should Have Ended

How Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them Should Have Ended

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HOW FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM SHOULD HAVE ENDED

We open on MACUSA battling Graves.

MACUSA Agents: (firing spells) Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew...

Graves: (deflecting spells) Point, point, point...

The battle wages on until Newt ensnares Graves.

Newt: Revelio.

Graves then transforms into Gellert Grindelwald. He smirks.

Grindelwald: Do you think you can hold me?

Picquery: Hold you? Oh no! You're the biggest threat to the Wizarding World. To the Death Cell with you!

Grindelwald: Uh... what?

Picquery: We were gonna execute that girl for far less!

Tina glares.

Cut to the Death Cell.

Memory Witch: Let's see what memories you have.

She extracts Grindelwald's memories... and they all depict Johnny Depp's various other characters.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?!

Tarrant Hightopp: You must be as mad as a hatter!

Edward D. Wood Jr.: I like to dress in women's clothing.

Tonto: Bird. Angry.

Memory Witch: There. Don't they look good?

Grindelwald: (as Sweeney Todd and Victor Van Dort pass by in his memories) Well... some of them do.

Willy Wonka: The earth says hello!

Grindelwald cringes.

Newt: I don't know about this. Is this okay?

Mace Windu: He's too dangerous to be left alive!

Picquery: Who are you?

Windu: Uh... I'm a wizard too.

Grindelwald: Will we die, just a- (gets killed by the Death Room)

Picquery: There. Who knows how many lives we just saved?

OR THIS SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED...

Picquery: The entire magical community has been exposed. There is no way we can obliviate an entire city.

Newt: Actually... I think we can.

Newt tosses a memory-wiping liquid to Frank the Thunderbird. Frank flies upwards to the skies of New York and has it rain obliviating rain... right on top of MACUSA agents who were cleaning up the mess.

MACUSA Agent 1: Does anyone remember what we were doing?

MACUSA Agent 2: I feel like we were supposed to be doing something... but now I can't remember!

MACUSA Agent 3: Oh man what happened here?

Newt: Oh, dear... probably should have obliviated after we fixed everything.

Picquery: (sarcastically) Great idea, Newt!

Cue credits.

Back to the Grindelwald reveal...

Grindelwald: Do you think you can hold me?

Picquery: I can hold you. (hugs Grindelwald)

Grindelwald: This isn't what I meant.

Picquery: Shhh... There, there.

Grindelwald: Unhand me! Let go! This is embarrassing!

Picquery: It's gonna be okay.

THE END